What I know

Let's talk about domestic adoption, shall we? :) I titled this "what I know", because while I am no expert on domestic adoption I have sure learned a whole lot more over the past few months than I had understood before! Let's dispel some myths about domestic adoption too. First off, domestic adoption does not take years and years and years. Unfortunately, domestic adoption has a bad rap with its wait. But I have talked to many, many agencies and guess what, it is actually SO fast it would make your head spin! Now not every single situation is super fast, but we are talking 5 to 18 months (actually the longest I have been quoted is 12 mos., but I am being overly generous) timelines from presenting to birthmoms to having a baby home. That is fast. That is not years and years and years. Second off, every couple that adopts domestically does not have at least one failed adoption match. That is a huge myth. Yes, there are sad failed adoptions. It does happen and it is a risk. But the percentages of that happening with the agencies I have talked to are quite low. MUCH lower than miscarriage rates 25% per pregnancy. Third, open adoption is not super scary and the birthmom will NOT be allowed to come back for her child after you are home, at least not in any of the states where we will work in. We will be working with an agency that only places in the states where the rights have to be signed over to the adoptive parents within 72 hours of the baby being born. So once those rights are signed, our baby is OURS. We will not ever have to worry he or she will be taken back. Daniel and I have weighed the risks of getting to a hospital and having the birthmom change her mind. If that happens, it will be heartbreaking. But it is not something that would ever detour me from wanting to do this. I will be honest, it is my greatest fear about adopting domestically. But the agency that we are pretty sure we are going to sign on with has this rate of failed adoptions....wait for it.... 7%. That is pretty astoundingly low!!! Given that rate we also know percentages generally do not mean as much to us when we had an 89% rate of successfully carrying our last child to term since we made it to 12 weeks with a heartbeat. After you watch the thing happen to you that you assured yourself you were not unlucky enough to have happen, you generally don't get as excited about numbers being on your side. But I am fully prepared to go through a failed adoption if it means it will bring a baby to us. Of course I pray our first baby we think is ours will truly be ours. So these are a few things I know. I know I am excited. Like over the moon excited. I know I am scared. So scared of getting my hopes up again to see them crushed. And I feel God has a little soul out there that needs me as much as I need that little soul. And that is all I need to know.