Time is a funny thing

Picking up where I left off five months ago today. So much has happened in the last five months. It has not been easy and has really tested our faith and sanity. To make a long story short, we ended up having to put our adoption on hold. For reasons I will never understand, we conceived a child again in March. We were so thrilled but it was a very very short pregnancy. But long enough to halt the adoption and make us question every single thing we were doing in building a family. After months of agony and praying we are right back to where we were in March. Looking forward to adopting. I have tried to piece the puzzle together and here is what I have....the ONLY thing that makes sense is that God put us on this timeline to meet him or her at the time we were appointed to in this life. Five months ago was not our time to be active in this adoption and five months ago was not our time to carry a child. Our social worker never took us off the state list to adopt which is crazy to me. So when I contacted her a few weeks ago and told her I am ready to start back up she was thrilled. She said we are #1 on the state list to adopt. Five months ago we couldn't even present to birthmoms here locally. I was totally shocked. We have no idea if this means we will adopt locally or end up in Texas or something but it is neat. It almost feels like the past five months I have not just been spinning my wheels. October makes THREE years trying to give our family our last child. That is LONG time you guys. I want to say I am better and stronger because of these three years but all I can say is this: this baby of ours will be SO LOVED and SO WISHED FOR. I can't even tell you the tears I have cried or the prayers for hope I have prayed. One fine day.... I will get that call and we will jump in a car or on a plane and go meet the baby we have prayed and begged for. And our family will finally be complete. I would like to say to anyone struggling to build a family....don't give up. Exodus 14:14. "The Lord will fight for you, you need only to be still."